Resolute

- Get at least a 4.0 for the end of 1st semester...2nd semester I couldn't care less about.
- Make the best decision possible concerning colleges...
- Lose 10 lbs. (ubiquitous, I know) and actually KEEP my weight there.
- Read at least 40 books (lofty, but I'm determined!)
- Update livejournal and my blog more often, as a means of creative outlet.
- Get more involved in activism, I haven't been to a rally since last summer.
- Stop fucking procrastinating. I'm serious. It's horrible.
- Get a job.

I don't think I've ever set legitimate New Years Resolutions before, so we'll see how this goes. Besides my becoming vegetarian resolution two years ago that has worked out wonderfully (two-year anniversary tomorrow!).

Tonight I'm going to a party and probably getting too drunk which means probably making out with a girl which probably means more people thinking I'm a lesbian. Whatever, I do what I want!



Can't wait for the new year, I feel a lot a-changin'.

This may initiate a hiatus

I'm stuck in a rut.
Everything I do seems lackluster and inadequate. My writing is bombastic and reliant on re-used vocabulary words; there is no actual substance in anything I produce. I don't have innovative ideas or theories, and even if I did, I wouldn't be able to formulate these ideas into words. My art is so far below original; it's talentless. Even my thoughts are some sub-par version of something I've read or heard. I'm so sick of being average.

I wish I would be able to find at least something I'm good at. But every time I try something new I end up stopping before I create anything worth looking twice at because I realize how insufficient it all is. It's not that I'm comparing myself to others, it's just that I'm aware of my own faults, and there are certainly many, many others who are lucky enough to excell in the things i only wish i wouldn't fall short in. What's the point in pretending to be profound, if I'm always going to generate mediocrity?

Dance beneath the diamond sky.

Something suddenly reminded me of the movie, Elizabethtown, so of course I was filled with the unignorable urge to watch it. I'm glad I did, I haven't seen this movie in a really long time and I kind of forgot how much I liked it.



It's kind of a guilty pleasure. I know it's not the most eloquent or the most aesthetically or philosophically profound as many films out there (perhaps a good thing, it didn't seem like it was trying too hard to be intellectual or anything, like a lot of movies fall victim to), but something about it is just honest and endearing. It's real.



To have never taken a solitary road trip across country? I mean everybody's got to take a road trip, at least once in their lives. Just you and some music.



Sadness is easier because its surrender. I say make time to dance alone with one hand waving free.