Vacía

Si yo no soy aceptado en esta universidad yo no sé lo que haré. Tengo demasiadas cosas en mi mente, no puedo pensar. Quiero estar lejos de aquí, no puedo soportarlo más. Toda la gente y todas las cosas están cansadas y aburridas, necesito un cambio de ritmo. La escuela es estresante, las aplicaciones son estresantes, tú eres estresante. Sale mi cabeza. Quiero experimentar más cosas, quiero desafiarme en un entorno que no es tan insignificante y vacante. Para que alguien ser prolífico, tiene que encontrar algo profundo e inspirador en su ambiente. Imposible aquí.




Yo quiero estar allá.

Hakuna Matata

It means no worries.

As if you could kill time without injuring eternity.

The past few weeks have consisted of...

Applications, lack of sleep, too much homework, too much thinking, a break up, a revelation, hoping, waiting for winter, a trip to Portland (the beginning of a city-love affair), deadlines, a road trip, and emptiness.

My mom and I spent two days driving in/around the Portland area to investigate some potential college choices...and I fell in love with Lewis & Clark College. As well as the actual city of Portland; I love the culture and originality there, it's not common that one comes across an oasis of a city surrounded by forrests and so, so many trees.

I can't wait to start my life there next year.

My only worry is that I won't be accepted...I'm not sure what I'll do in that case. Last year I worked so hard to make up for my academic hiccup of the previous year; it would be so disappointing for that hard work to have been wasted. When I finally figure out what I want to do and where I want to be...there's a sizable chance that I won't be able to do it. All I can do at this point is think positive -- I've already sent in my application and everything. I guess I'll just hold my breath until March, until the day of the final verdict.

In less than a year, no one here will be able to control the direction my life goes in.

"I learned this, at least, by my experiment; that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams,and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours." - hdt

Break on Through

I spent a lot of time alone today...saw a movie and read at Starbucks. I enjoy the alone time though, a foreign concept to most of my socially active peers. I like the time to think and be independent, without anyone to dictate where to go or what to do; if I'm alone it's all up to me. A break from the hectic is nice.

Yesterday I spent time with some new friends; shopped around Laguna and San Juan with said new friends and Tyler. I bought another turquoise ring to add to my collection...this one's bigger and more dramatic, though. It was a nice afternoon, we got to engage in some intelligent conversation which I'm not really used to. Not to say my friends aren't intelligent, but we usually spend our time rambling about nothing and making silly jokes, which I enjoy as well. But it was a good change of pace.



I have a lot to do still, this day wasn't as productive as it should have been. Homework galore to finish before I leave for Portland tomorrow evening...which reminds me that I also need to pack. I'm anticipating the cold weather Portlanders are expecting for this week, I haven't experienced a cold day in what seems like centuries.





The debut of my blog was the effect of a sudden burst of inspiration...I'm hoping this bout will stick around longer than they usually do, I have too many drawings and journals and photographs left abandoned. I have to remember to take along a sketchbook on my Oregon trip...plain rides (especially of the solitary variety) always spark some sort of creative energy. Something about staring out the window and listening to good folk music and being thousands of feet in the air. Looking forward to it.